Understanding and

Healing Anger


When someone experiences anxiety it is always caused by the fear of being hurt or losing something.  When a person actually is hurt or experiences a loss (not associated with death of a loved one)  that person will ultimately experience anger, i.e., home, work, relationships.

If one were to look at relationships  what caused the person  to be angry?  For example, when an individual is upset by someone’s action or words, that person will become angry. Anger maybe hidden but it will rear its ugly head other ways such as becoming passive aggressive, silent, defensive, etc.  When the anger subsides, it is very important to check-in and ask why am I upset?

Losing ones residence is another major contributor to eventually feeling anger.  Again, what caused that individual to lose their residence?   What if anything,  could have been done for that not to happen?  There could be many factors such as loss of employment, impending divorce, inability to save for possible mishaps, loss of a loved one, health, the list could go on.

If one were to lose their place of employment and that individual has a family, anger would be a natural response.  The anger maybe projected  toward the company, manager, or self.  It is important to understand why that individual lost her/his job just as it has to do with relationships.  If that employee truly knows they were not the cause than it would behoove the individual to have an  understanding of the lesson.  As this and all causes attributed to anger, it takes courage to feel the loss or hurt and the possible role one played in the outcome?  This is not always easy especially when in the throes of anger.  I would suggest when the anger subsides that would be the time to reflect.

It is easier to reflect on what has caused someone to be angry by having a trusted friend just listen to what is being shared.  I am not averse to having a glass of wine or two if it helps  settle raw emotions.  Running or working out or simply taking a walk can release feelings of anger.  Another way is writing down those feelings and reflect on what caused the anger to happen.  It is important not to play the victim game, it will hinder progress toward understanding the role one played or lesson learned.

On my personal journey, I have come to know I am more than my job, relationships, loss of any kind.  I am not saying this is easy.  It truly takes courage to look inside to determine, if anything, what role one has  played in experiencing  a form of  anger.  Anger can also be a wonderful tool to move one towards uncovering their true self.  None of us are victims, we each set up circumstances, scenarios, outcomes to forge us to who we truly are where love, truth, and wisdom reside.